


Love Your Edges (wish I could tape your heart)

by Cas_203



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Angry Louis, Angst, Brief descriptions of said attempt, Harry is just... I nearly cried myself writing stuff with him, Harry's hoodies, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Suicide, It's super unimaginably brief, Louis Acting with Emotions, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Occurs at a The 1975 Concert, Past Unsuccessful Suicide Attempt, Protect Harry Everyone, Sad Harry, Self-recovery implied, Soft Kisses, Zayn is a good boyfriend, Zayn is heart-breakingly careful and soft, Zayn's Bracelets, be careful reading this please, forehead kiss, read the tags, very briefly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-24
Updated: 2017-11-24
Packaged: 2019-02-06 10:22:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,424
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12815478
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cas_203/pseuds/Cas_203
Summary: A kiss; Zayn and Harry were cliché like that. Because it felt right- because there was pain in the air and there always would be but there was also love- there was a kiss. It was a soft, sudden touch of the lips- never harsh, nothing harsh after what had happened.Or: Harry wasn't well, and Zayn knew that, that was okay. Harry didn't know he was okay though, and Zayn would try his damnest to change that.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, guys. 
> 
> Please don't read any further if you could get triggered by anything. I love you all.
> 
>  
> 
> First of all, my pineapples, please read the tags. There is a briefly described unsuccessful suicide attempt and a reference to scars in this little fic, although the suicide is kind of implied throughout. I want you to take a moment and think about whether or not you're okay reading this. If your not, then that is perfectly fine. Your health and your safety is the most important thing to me.
> 
> Other than that, I hope those of you that read enjoy this. Maybe play 'Me' by The 1975 while reading? I had it on repeat while writing and it really set the mood.
> 
>  
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own One Direction, Matty Healy or anyone else mentioned in this story.

_I got a plane in the middle of the night  
Don't you mind?_

He looked ethereal. Mouthing the words, his lips bitten red and and his eyes fixated on Matty Healy. Harry looked as if he was in that place, the place where he said it hurt but felt good and beautiful. Harry looked beautiful.

_I nearly killed someone  
Don't you mind? Don't you mind?_

Then one of his hands slipped off from the railing, coming to pull at the cuff of Zayn's leather jacket and pull him close, the words " _This was always my favourite,"_ a secret whispered with hot, hesitant breath against his ear.

  
_I gave you something you can never give back  
Don't you mind?_

And Zayn stayed close. Letting his arm come up, wrapping it around Harry's shoulders and reveling in how it felt as familiar as living. He stayed close because he was starting to understand something about this song, and he wanted to make sure that his boy knew he didn't. He would never mind, and that was because nothing that had happened was Harry's fault. 

_I see your face like a heart attack  
Don't you mind? Don't you mind?_

A kiss; Zayn and Harry were cliché like that. Because it felt right- because there was pain in the air and there always would be but there was also love- there was a kiss. It was a soft, sudden touch of the lips- never harsh, nothing harsh after what had happened. 

_  
Well I was late but I arrived_

_"Babe,"_ It was Zayn now, whispering the word, and it sounded like he was close to tears. Harry just pressed his lips into his neck, something like a promise or a reassurance. Zayn wouldn't know until years later that it was Harry's way of saying that he was glad that Zayn had arrived.

  
_I'm sorry but I'd rather be getting high                                                                                   Than_ _watching my family die_

As Harry's hands sneaked around his waist, Zayn thought of the times _before_ , because now everything was either _before_ or _after._ He thought of how Harry had never felt the need to hide himself underneath his hoodies and headphones and books and just kept them because they made him _'look cool'_ and were _'quite cosy'_ unlike now, where he used them as a shield; he thought of how he had learnt to never muffle his laugh behind his hands because, _God_ , Zayn found that sound beautiful, and he thought of how it had been days since he had heard him do that; he thought of how he had only stolen Zayn's bracelets and cuffs because he thought he was being cute and not to hide scars that he hated being acknowledged; he thought of how he'd smile and not think twice about it.

  
_Exaggerate_  
_And you and I_

But that was something he never did. Zayn and Harry, they never exaggerated. Zayn thinks that, maybe if they had, then they wouldn't be standing here and he wouldn't be stealing glances at Harry's face every five seconds to validate that he was still alive, still breathing.

  
_Oh, I think I did something terrible to your body_  
_But don't you mind?_

It's not too loud right now, the atmosphere in the arena somber and not many talking. Maybe it's because they're in a separate wing, watching from the top where hopefully no one will notice them, or maybe it's because this song means as much to others as it evidently means to Harry. But, whatever the reason, the quiet means that Zayn hears Harry murmur the words. It's the first time he's actually sang along during the whole song, and Zayn can't help but turn into him and kiss him again, trying to let his lips chase away all the thoughts and all the fears running in his head.

  
_I put your mother through hell_  
_Don't you mind?_

Matty Heally's voice trembles, and Zayn gets it. He gets it because this song hits close to his heart because it hits even closer to Harry's. 

  
_I hate your brother as well_  
_Don't you mind? Don't you mind?_

There's an incident that replays in his head, then. Zayn remembers Louis's _"Don't you tell me to back off, Zayn! He may be your boyfriend, but he's my brother- You're my fucking brother, Haz, and I'm allowed to tell you that what you pulled was stupid shit,"_ and Harry's _"I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Louis, I'm sorry, just- please don't. Just don't talk about it."_ He remembers that and he remembers the way Harry resented Louis for weeks afterwards just because he was the only one brave enough to call him out.

   
_Oh, I was thinking about killing myself                                   Don't you mind?_

Rather than stiffen at the words or pull away as Zayn suddenly expects him to, Harry's grip around him tightens and he lets his head come down on his shoulder, whether to hide himself or seek comfort Zayn doesn't know. Harry doesn't turn away, though, just lifts his eyes up a little so they barely meet Zayn's and mouths something that looks tok much like _"Do you mind?"_ And Zayn wants to turn away. He can't, though, the image of Harry in the broken bathroom with red wrapped around his arms like a blanket too ingrained in his mind, too recent even though it had been three months now... Zayn settles for a lightnpress of his lips against his boy's forehead, because they always made Harry feel soft and safe and because he couldn't answer.

  
_I love you_  
_Don't you mind? Don't you mind?_

Harry would tell him- on the ride home where there wouldn't be any other words expect theirs- that he sometimes wished Zayn would mind that Harry loved him. Zayn would ask why and Harry would say it's because he's broken, because he's got edges that seem to catch on everything and make him bleed and that no man deserves to be loved by anyone like him.

 

Zayn would say that Harry was right on his last point, and he would go on to list all of the reasons why every single day for the rest of his life.


	2. Reasons Why You're Loved

Reasons why people love you (me being the person who loves you the most, of course), and reasons why no one, including me, deserves to;

 

_1) Because you're Harry Bloody Styles- Zayn._

_2) Your Curls. -Zayn._

_3) Your dimples. -Zayn._

_4) Your dimples. -Zayn._

_5) Did I mention your dimples, babe? -Zayn._

_6) Because you absolutely refuse to use any kind of emoji's. -Zayn._

_8) Your nose. I'm serious. -Zayn._

_9) The four nipples. -Zayn._

_10) Your laugh. You should laugh more, Hazza. I miss your laugh. -Zayn._

_11) Because you shake the hand of every person you meet. -Zayn._

_12) Your smile. -Zayn._

_13) Because of every 'You're mean' said in the most serious way possible whenever I annoy you. -Zayn._

_14) Because you probably respect our fans and show more support for them than all of us boys combined. -Zayn._

_15) You're confident. -Zayn._

_16)_   _You're sometimes not confident, and you're starting to accept that. Proud of you, by the way. -Zayn._

_17) Honestly. So fucking proud of you. -Zayn._

_18) Your love for kids. -Zayn. P.S- the name Darcy is a maybe. When you're not eighteen. And we're really old. Then._

_19) Because of the way you look at someone when they talk. The way you give them all your attention, not many do that. -Zayn._

_20) Because you put up with me. -Zayn._

_21) You're kind. -Zayn._

_22) 'All the love'. -Zayn._

_23) You're an unbelievably great kisser. -Zayn._

_24) This is one of the things that sometimes actually really annoys me (like when I tell you I don't want to watch The Notebook!), but, like, it's awesome as well: you refuse to listen to the word 'no'. -Zayn._

_25) You love baking. -Zayn._

_25) Because of the way you look when you're sleeping. -Zayn._

_25) Your eyes, man. -Zayn._

_26) The blazers and the shirts- guess I was right in calling you baby Jagger, eh, Jagger? -Zayn._

_27) Because you let me in. -Zayn._

_28) Because you deserve everything and more than I or anyone else can give you._

  _21) You're going through so much shit and I know you don't like to talk about it but another reason is that you haven't given up yet. -Zayn._

_• I did. -H._

_22) The fact that you just wrote that down and told me that? That's exactly why I know you haven't. -Z_

**Author's Note:**

> There you go.
> 
> I hope you liked it, and I'm sorry for putting you through such a strong journey. I heard 'Me' for the first time ever yesterday, and it just hit me as one of those songs that I HAD to write to, y'know? 
> 
> I've been playing it non stop since last night, and I've also been refusing to look up the meaning. That's because I think, with songs like this one, it's alright to make your own- in sorry if I completely ruined it, but it's how I interpret the lyrics.
> 
> Pleas leave me some kudos or a comment and let me know what you think, and, as always, constructive criticism is welcome and appreciated
> 
> Also, to those who celebrate, Happy Belated Thanksgiving!


End file.
